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I’m lonely through partners illness

Hi, my name is Elaine Griffiths on your group, I live in Chalfont St Peter but I can drive.

I moved from Eastbourne to Chalfont St Peter in 2017 to be closer to my daughters and my new grand daughter. This was not an easy decision as I had lived and worked in Eastbourne and so had lots of friends, work colleagues.

Having been through a divorce I met my 2nd husband in 2005. I had been on my own for 7 years raising and supporting my daughters until such time I felt comfortable to start meeting people.

Unfortunately in 2014 my husband was diagnosed with Bowel Cancer and having had many operations and cycles of Chemo my employers at the time decided they could no longer support me having time off to attend hospital appointments. Previously they had agreed to me working from home following his chemo. It had been working and I had not let my personal life interfere with work commitments or failed to deal with issues whilst either at hospital or home.

Due to management changes it became apparent that the new person was not supportive and made my work life impossible to sustain whilst caring for my husband.

We made the decision to move closer to my daughter so that I had more support due to having had both hips replaced. I am now waiting for my knees to be replaced, when I feel ready and able to undergo the procedure.

Since my husband was diagnosed with Cancer it is surprising how many “friends” have disappeared in the black hole of no communication.

I do not dwell on his illness and neither does he, we live our lives to the full and enjoy our time together. All the promises of friends coming to visit, have not materialised for one reason or another. Family in Eastbourne feel that I have abandoned them, two brothers and an elderly mother have also seemed to go to ground since my husband was diagnosed. I know people
find it difficult but moving away from Eastbourne to start a new life has been difficult but one we would not change as to see my granddaughter grow up and know who I am is important.
We do visit Eastbourne monthly but even then, meeting with friends is difficult as they all work and do not make the effort to get together for a coffee even though I have given them plenty of notice on our visit and told them where we will be staying. I guess they have moved on and I have to accept that.
I have looked for work but as soon as they know about my husband it becomes a “no thank you”. I feel it only fair to be honest and up front and tell them that there will be a need for me to have time off to attend appointments with him.

I would like to meet people within my age bracket I am 58 this month, fairly active, and enjoy a chat, laugh and can be a good listener. I enjoy doing knitting for my grand daughter, Cross Stitch and a little dress making.

You can catch up with Elaine by using the hashtag #Eastbourne on The Group Hug facebook page, if you live in that area. Use the search at the top of the group page and type in Eastbourne to search for the use of any place in the group.

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“You will be in the gutter” snarled the narcissist

We were glad my parents split up!