The Group Hug
A number of years ago, I decided to leave my fiancé..It was the best decision I think I have ever made. I am now happily married to the man of my dreams, with a beautiful daughter.
I am so grateful for what I went through, because it got me where I am today, it was incredibly painful but if it wasn’t for that pain I don’t think I would appreciate what I have now as much as I do. It is a blessing that I didn’t marry him.
Here’s my story…
My ex was emotionally abusive, his lack of certainty about who he was, meant that he lacked integrity and lied, a lot. I didn’t trust him. I now know we had completely different values to me. We were a square peg and a round hole.
I used to look in the mirror and feel empty inside, my heart hurt. I wanted to end our relationship, I felt dead inside, but I was too scared to leave him.
The day I decided, it was the last time he would tell me ‘I will be back at 11pm.’ And not come home.
He used to drink drive, and hide his car around the corner, hoping I wouldn’t find out. Until one day I did, he didn’t do it again, but he didn’t show any remorse.
He used to lie and say he was at home when I was away, I would come home and find the post from 3 days before on the floor. The house had not been lived in. He would hide his phone from me, and used to prioritise his friends over me and family.
At the time I was working with a business coach who was also highly skilled in mindset. (What I now know is the success of any business is 80% mindset.) and through working with her I was able to see things for what they were, and make powerful decisions about my life.
I decided I loved myself too much to continue to put myself through the pain that he caused me. Before the brave day, I kept focusing on who or what I would be as a woman at 32 without a partner.
Getting married was the thing to do
You see my parents had always told me I should be married and have children by 30. Leaving him felt like the end of the world. Not because I would loose him, but because in my mind at the time I would be giving up my chance of having a family and would be a failure to my family.
I don’t think I would be where I am today, and as happy as I am if it wasn’t for the freedom I found from working with my coach, I wanted to learn more, so I could help other woman in a similar way that I had been helped.. I went deep and studied hard as a coach and as a Tony Robbins strategic interventionist.
What I now understand from studying psychology and human needs is we are all conditioned, meaning we take on the beliefs of others around us in our subconscious. Unless the beliefs that are holding us back or hurting us are brought to the surface, we will continue to be controlled and hurt by them…
Being with him was my problem, my choice
I was with him for 4 years, (3.5 too long.) because I didn’t feel good enough. I didn’t believe I was worthy of true love. So I settled for less than mediocre.
The day we broke up, I was also making the decision to cancel our wedding, it was only 6 weeks away! Phone calls were made, invitations and suppliers cancelled. It was horrible. But it was right. My Dad was my tower of strength.
The car and the house were all in my name, I owned them outright. I had plenty of my own money in the bank. I did not need him. The reason I had this was because I had businesses. I had began building my first at 16 years old, I was bullied as a child for over 10 years, I decided at a young age I would never rely on anyone. I would be independent and thank goodness I had made that decision.
If it wasn’t for my coach I would not have seen things from an alternative perceptive, I think I would have stayed stuck in fear, living in a emotionally abusive relationship. If it wasn’t for the security I had from my business, things would have also been very different.
The future
I’m now a success Coach and business strategist. It’s my mission to help more woman build a business that gives them financial and personal freedom .. so they don’t need to ever depend on anyone else. I have always built businesses from things I am passionate about, and that’s how I truly believe I have been so successful.
What do you love to do? What are you good at? What are your strengths? If you aren’t sure, ask your nearest and dearest what qualities do they see in you and let’s go from there..
We all have a special gift, and that’s where I start with my clients, to help them turn it into a thriving sustainable business so they can be an independent powerful woman and have the security and self love they deserve.
You can find me at:
Love Claire xxx
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