“Love may be blind….but it doesn’t need to be hard to find”

by The Group Hug January 10, 2019, 1:06 pm 1.5k Views

Being a matchmaker is not a task for the faint-hearted, nor for those who give up easily. There is a lot of background work to be done and hours spent online and at events, trying to find those perfect matches. There is definitely an element of luck involved and of being ‘in the right place at the right time.’ However, I like this phrase because it is my job, and indeed my passion, to make the path to finding love seem like a blissful walk amongst the sunflowers on a sunny, summers day.

Ok, so that might be a slight exaggeration, but I certainly want to make the process as smooth as possible and less daunting than it can otherwise be.

Love can be blind but that doesn’t stop some of us ladies from apparently having a substantial list of requirements! Some might call it a checklist. A good friend of mine is actively dating with a view to finding a long-term partner and her approach fascinates me. She literally has a checklist which is divided into different categories; appearance/physical attraction, financials, hobbies, personality/behaviour, principles and future goals.

The checklist goes into a lot of detail in each category, down to, for example, the condition of the guy’s eyebrows. Some of the criteria are points based and the guy receives a score out of 10, indicating to what degree he fulfils that criteria. I have, obviously, asked her about her ‘screening method’ and why she feels the need to have such a system in place. To her way of seeing it, with this checklist she can see immediately eliminate any guy who categorically does not fulfil certain criteria without the risk of her getting overruled by her emotions and pursuing him anyway.

We have all gone for the wrong guy at one time or another so there is some sense to that logic. However, with such broad criteria what are the chances of her ever finding a guy who does match what she is looking for?

Admittedly my friend is an extreme case but I hear often from women who view dating a bit like a recruitment process. Only that with recruitment at least a good recruiter will use instinct and intuition in the interview room! If you do not reach certain expectations off the bat then you are dismissed. Perhaps they are scared of getting hurt or perhaps they are striving for perfection.

Whatever is behind it, if we start ticking boxes and keeping scores, are we leaving out all element of intuition, chemistry and love? All of which are non-tangible and have no place on the checklist.