The Group Hug
So, you have a shared parenting agreement. Not seeing your children 50% of the time is upsetting, so to make you look at things in a slightly different light, we thought we would write this blog on the benefits of shared parenting.
- Don’t take it too seriously, we know you might be hurting… but it’s happening and there is nothing you can do. You have to make the most of the now and look on the bright side. If your ex wasn’t ever hands-on, then think about the saying “revenge is sweet” as they are catapulted in at the deep-end being that super parent they made the court believe they were. You may even find they get bored and are back with you full-time within months.
- So, your ex only wanted 50/50 so they didn’t have to pay any child maintenance? Look at it this way, you now have a free Au pair! Childcare would have cost you far more than your ex would ever have given you anyway. Think about how much holiday clubs’ cost! As soon as your ex starts NOT doing 50/50, contact the CMS! Who’s laughing now? YOU!
- You get to have a LIFE again and will have the time to heal and find yourself after the stress of the divorce. You can get yourself on the dating scene, self-love, take regular exercise and do all the things your ex didn’t want you to be able to do by NOT giving you maintenance. You see, you can do much more with them mucking in as parents too! You have the opportunity to earn much more money than they ever would have paid in maintenance!
- You can really get stuck into work and your career. Now you have your free Au pair the future is looking really bright! You might even get that business up and running or write a future best-selling book? You have time on your hands so use it wisely; make your kids proud of your achievements.
- You are never going to hear the words “you didn’t let us see our Dad” or “you didn’t let us see our Mum”. Your children are going to have the experience of growing up with both parents playing an active part in their lives. If your ex is a shit. then your children are not going to have a false illusion of that fact. They are on a journey of discovery and will have their own thoughts in the future.
- For 50% of the year, you can do whatever you want, when you want to do it; making you a more interesting parent. You can have hobbies, friends, work and be a fabulous role model!
- You only have dirty clothes 50% of the time
- You can eat what YOU want for 50% of the year. Talking of eating… don’t forget to give your toddler a buttery flaky croissant for the journey in your ex’s brand new car.
- If your children are at school, let’s face it, they are only having supper, doing their homework and going to bed at your ex’s. Is it really that bad? It’s not as though they are having super-duper quality time together. That’s for holidays. You are simply missing out on cooking, washing, homework arguments, sibling fights, bedtime rows and school runs. Just remember this when you are sitting with your feet-up at 6.30pm beer or wine in-hand.
- You no longer have to pay for babysitters! Just arrange your nights out on the weekends the little munchkins are with ‘Supernanny.’ You can even have adult only holidays and weekends away when you are missing the kids. You will be able to have better holidays with the children as you will have time to work and earn more money.
Find out about the Parenting Apart Programme in The Hug Directory HERE
Of course, all this doesn’t stop you from missing the most precious thing in your life, but maybe our list will go some way to cheering you up a little. It’s not that bad when you get used to it. A social worker told us
the best thing you can do in this situation is to surround your children with positive role models and create a warm cosy nest and calm environment where their opinion is valued”
We know that everyone’s situation is different so please don’t be offended by this blog. We are all about trying to see the brighter side of situations and making you feel hugged x
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