Maybe you have been through a separation or divorce, are going through a bad patch in your relationship or are seeing the glimmers of hope emerging following a bereavement. Whatever you’ve been dealing with, you’ve taken the first step and are reading this blog; you want to make some changes and get your life back on track.
Here are our tips on how to go about kicking your life back into shape
You may need expert support for these tips, and that’s fine. Asking for help is not failing and many of the coaches and counsellors in The Hug Directory have been through what you are going through right now. Their journey of self-discovery led them to being able to help others.
Talk about what you’re going through in the The Group Hug Chatroom – you’ll soon realise that you are not alone!
Declutter your life
Tidy the space around you and your entire home. How can you possibly think straight if you are surrounded by mess? Is your home filled with objects and things which remind you of the past? Of course, there are some good memories too, but now is the time to take a look at what makes you happy, and what’s giving you the evil eye. If you find having a clear-out tricky, then there’s plenty of help available with decluttering specialists. Take a look in The Hug Directory and find an expert who can help you make the most of your home interior or reach out to a friend. Move on from the chaos and into a tranquil living space. You will find that your head will have more space for those wonderful positive thoughts when the mayhem has left the building.
Tell the negative self-talk to get lost; you know, that little voice in your head that’s telling you you’re too fat, too thin, that you drink too much and are a rubbish parent. When we are in a bad place mentally, thinking negatively is far too easy and we can end up overthinking, feeling unhappy and underperforming in everything we do. It’s not easy, but you need to accept your imperfections and stop striving for the impossible. Self-confidence is the key. If you can’t get to grips with this alone, speak to a counsellor or coach. An expert will give you the tools to press the stop button when the negative self-talks starts to play in your head. Social can play a huge part in this as it seems that all your friends and favourite stars are living their best life EVER. Be realistic, they are simply not going to post about the big bust-up they had with their spouse or the fact that their teenage daughter has turned into a witch!
There really can be a happy life after divorce!
If you have toxic people in your life, now is the time to kick their ass out of the door! As you read this, does someone’s name immediately spring to mind? We all have toxic people who pass through our lives and they generally walk through our door when we are at a low ebb. These people target you when you have low self-esteem and will drain all your energy. Don’t ever expect anything in return, it’s all about them. A toxic person can be a partner, parent, sibling, friend or work colleague. These toxic personalities are lurking everywhere. Now that you are working on yourself, you don’t need a fake friend or narcissistic partner so you can get rid.
Are your friends behaving badly during your divorce?
Get your finances into some kind of order – take the plunge and write down your incomings and your outgoings. It might be a shock, but like any part of your life, until you can fully acknowledge what is happening, how can you make changes such as realising that the takeaway you have every weekend is taking you into your overdraft and it’s building up. Sometimes simple life choice swaps can make all the difference.
Starting over and the importance of financial planning
We have financial planners in The Hug Directory who can help you to plan your financial future, right into retirement. So don’t get caught out in years to come, face your finances now and plan ahead. Gone are the days of the uptight financial adviser speaking jargon. Today’s planners are also coaches who speak YOUR language and listen. Find a financial planner/adviser/coach HERE
Much of what we have mentioned above involves setting boundaries and being able to say no. Maybe your home has become cluttered because you have been drinking too much, unable to say no to the friends who think that plying you with white wine while you blub into a box of kleenex is the answer to your problems. When you have fallen down, getting back up and dusting yourself off isn’t simple. You will need persistence and resilience. Remember that you don’t owe anyone anything. We can all succeed, it’s simply a case of finding the strength. Own your life and destiny. If you keep putting things off, you will fall deeper and it will be harder to climb out of the hole of negativity. Be conscious to what is happening around you and listen to your body and your wishes. What do you want from life? What is going to make you happy? Don’t be afraid to put yourself first, it’s not selfish. Remember the saying “fit your own oxygen mask first” – it’s so true. How can you be a true friend or great parent if you are literally falling apart? A life coach will hep you to achieve my setting achieveable small steps towards the ultimate goal.
Toxic divorce; just walk away with nothing but your sanity?