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I AM SO ANGRY! What is going to happen to all the people the family courts have let down?
I went through a horrendous divorce with a wealthy man. He played the system and ended up having to give me absolutely not a penny and I even have children. Yes, he is a complete arsehole, however i keep thinking about the future (obviously) and what is going to happen to all of us where the wealthy ex got away with murder and didn't have to pay up? There will be all these wealthy exes and on the other hand paupers who lost out when they could not fight fire with fire. The family courts are in a complete and utter mess. Are the government going to look after all of us as we go into retirement destitute? I have absolutely no means of earning enough money to save for the future. No pension etc... my ex told me that his assets were our future.
I know many other people, particularly women who will be virtually on the streets when they retire. Legal Aid is no more and this just means that the government are saving now, but because exes have not had to pay up, they are going to need state help in the future. It's just moving the problem. Wouldn't it be better that those who have no money for legal divorce cases, were able to fight to get money for a future, to buy a house etc, so that down the line, they will be comfortable and not need state help? All that is happening is that these men (and I am sure there are women too) are getting away with paying their dues and responsibilities and the government is going to have to cover that in future years? Has anyone ever thought about that? It makes me so super angry that some people are just getting away with it in the Family Courts because one party simply cannot afford the fight. Makes me sick and as you can tell, I am really angry!
I know exactly how you feel. I was put through hell when my husband left me with my 4 girls he went through every trick in the book to discredit me and make me look the evil one. Why is it the courts will award legal aid if domestic abuse is proven but what about emotional and financial abuse how much they want to prove it is crazy and near on impossible. I had businesses a beautiful house and all the material things that went with it. Lost everything and was lucky to be housed by the council as my credit rating was shattered and 5 years on still is. My ex lives in LA living the dream with his umpteenth arm candy. Where is the fairness in that !
I completely get why you are so angry- the system is unfair and yes abusers often manipulate the courts to continue their abuse and get away with it. There is a huge movement building with a march coming up in London this month to protest about the very things you are discussing.
However these changes take time - my advice is for anyone starting out through the court system is to get yourself a good solicitor that understands financial and emotional abuse and get a Divorce Coach that can help support you through the process and help you recover and move forward afterwards.
It can be tough but focus on the positives- you no longer have to put up with an abusive partner, you may have less income but you are free to control your own finances and you can be a great role model for your children- stay strong.
@crawlingoutofthedark oh yuck. What an awful story. Honestly, some men just don't care do they, well they do... they just care about the next place their penis is going to rest. Grrrrrr How can fathers prioritise money staying in their pocket over their children's welfare. i hope it bites them on the backside one say when their children want nothing to do with them. Actually, do men like this even care if their children can't stand them? Probably not
? ? ? ? forgot to put puke emoji - this ones even got dollar signs for eyes. perfect.
@crawlingoutofthedark this is disgusting. So your ex lives in LA and you are in a council house? Makes me sick! I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through and it’s about time the law sorted these guys out. What happens is that he walks away and the rest of the country have to look after you because he got away with not providing for you and the children. Wouldn’t it be better to bring back legal aid than to have all these women now looked after by three state now and right into pension age? Ludicrous. I hope you and your girls are ok. 😡😡
I have worked in the family law system for 30 years and it is a tough place. I have seen a lot of unfairness (when the mantra is that the court should make a "fair order"). I set up a different way of working to try to help those with limited income get strategic advice and pay only for what they need. Think flying EasyJet, you pay much less and choose what you need and get to the same place. Have a look if you are interested - familylawcafe.co.uk.