Breaking up with al...
 

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Breaking up with alcohol dependent partner  

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bonnielass
(@bonnielass)
New Member
Joined: 1 month ago
Posts: 3
13/08/2019 9:43 pm  

Hi.  I have made the heart breaking desicion to end my relationship with my alcohol dependent partner.  He is the kindest sweetest man but he does not want to admit that he has a problem. He has a teenage daughter by his previous partner (that relationship also ended because of his drinking) who has begged him to stop too. His health isn't great, he is painfully thin- no muscle tone, short term memory is shot to hell- he actually has to write everything down or he forgets!  I honestly don't want to walk away from him but I refuse to watch him slowly kill himself.  I also have teenage kids and a 7 year old from a previous relationship and I do not want his alcoholism to have any impact on them so that is why tomorrow I tell him it is over. 

Sorry if I'm rambling, I'm not great at explaining myself. Could really UAE a hug right now.


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lady firefly
(@lady-firefly)
Active Member
Joined: 2 months ago
Posts: 6
13/08/2019 10:12 pm  

Giving you a massive hug!

its a hard thing to do but you really need to think of the children

be strong 

xxx


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bonnielass
(@bonnielass)
New Member
Joined: 1 month ago
Posts: 3
13/08/2019 10:14 pm  

@lady-firefly

Thank you.  


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Northernlass
(@northernlass)
Active Member
Joined: 4 months ago
Posts: 9
14/08/2019 7:17 am  

Hi well done for coming to this decision- you are right about putting yourself and the children first. Unfortunately you can only help alcoholics if they admit to the problem and sometimes tough love forces them to wake up to reality - it also may not. 

You don’t say whether you plan to stay in your home and ask him to leave or whether you and the children will leave. Practice telling him and what will happen if he reacts well and if he doesn’t - this will ensure you have a plan., Make sure you get support from a professional if you can to help you through this - either a Divorce/Separation Coach or speak to your local drugs/alcohol service for advice. Good luck x


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Foxy
 Foxy
(@foxy)
Active Member
Joined: 1 month ago
Posts: 5
15/08/2019 3:09 pm  
Posted by: @bonnielass

Hi.  I have made the heart breaking desicion to end my relationship with my alcohol dependent partner.  He is the kindest sweetest man but he does not want to admit that he has a problem. He has a teenage daughter by his previous partner (that relationship also ended because of his drinking) who has begged him to stop too. His health isn't great, he is painfully thin- no muscle tone, short term memory is shot to hell- he actually has to write everything down or he forgets!  I honestly don't want to walk away from him but I refuse to watch him slowly kill himself.  I also have teenage kids and a 7 year old from a previous relationship and I do not want his alcoholism to have any impact on them so that is why tomorrow I tell him it is over. 

Sorry if I'm rambling, I'm not great at explaining myself. Could really UAE a hug right now.

Just sending a group hug hoping you are all right x


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Foxy
 Foxy
(@foxy)
Active Member
Joined: 1 month ago
Posts: 5
17/08/2019 6:50 pm  

@lady-firefly

Tell us how you are after your ordeal did you manager to tell him send you a double group hug xx


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lady firefly
(@lady-firefly)
Active Member
Joined: 2 months ago
Posts: 6
19/08/2019 12:39 pm  

@foxy

Still no change- my ex has had to leave the country for a few weeks- still hanging in the air but its given me much needed peace! Time to read up on how to get my life back etc

feeling much stronger thanks xxx


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Foxy
 Foxy
(@foxy)
Active Member
Joined: 1 month ago
Posts: 5
19/08/2019 6:25 pm  

@lady-firefly

Hoping the space will strengthen you giving you peace always here for you group hug xx


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Newlife
(@newlife)
Double-Star Member
Joined: 4 months ago
Posts: 20
28/08/2019 8:48 am  

Is he back now @bonnielass? What happened? I hope you are ok. I was watching your posts as I think loads of us get into relationships with the wrong people...and get scared or can't leave. I am  going to post about it. Hope you are ok.


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Newlife
(@newlife)
Double-Star Member
Joined: 4 months ago
Posts: 20
28/08/2019 8:49 am  

@lady-firefly

Yes... the children have to come first. So hard thought isnt it. All those things going through your mind as a parent. The trauma for the kids if you don't leave, the trauma if you do. There's no easy way.


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