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What are some dating red flags?

Moderator
(@moderator)
Reliable Friend

Some red flags are very obvious, but sometimes they're so subtle that you don't even notice them.  What were some early red flags in a past relationship that you wished you had noticed?

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Topic starter Posted : 27/07/2021 5:31 pm
KyleB67
(@kyleb67)
Double-Star Contributor

One I realised after the relationship had ended, was how obsessive she was almost immediately. I found it cute at the time but looking back it was a major red flag. At first it was as simple as asking me what I'm doing constantly but slowly turned into asking me to give her updates, definitely should've realised sooner that it wasn't going to work.

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Posted : 27/07/2021 5:35 pm
Monkey
(@monkey)
Double-Star Contributor

Is it me, am I showing my age, but why does everybody want to sext? Dick picks and bum shots, I mean is romance dead? How about meeting up and conversation before getting anywhere close to that. Anyone who just wants to sext is a red flag, there is flirting fine, but if you want porn go elsewhere!

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Posted : 27/07/2021 9:09 pm
startagain2021
(@startagain2021)
Apprentice Hugger

@monkey ha ha - brilliant - yes. I think most women have received a dick pic and I am talking about women in their 50's 60's getting them from men of that age too. Maybe men just never grow up OR they think that part of their anatomy is super attractive to us females? Want my honest opinion? It is not. We don't want to see a photo of it literally popping up on our phone! Keep it in your pants and for the bedroom please Scared  

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Posted : 28/07/2021 5:43 pm
rosiesarahlyon
(@rosiesarahlyon)
Double-Star Contributor

From my experience i never realised the red flags. Now ive educated myself and realised what red flags are i now know how to spot them. Looking back i wish i had seen the red flags such as: 'Why dont you put make up on?' or 'why do you never make an effort with your hair when you see me'. Or even the situations of 'can i borrow some money'. There is so many, but these are the main ones for me

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Posted : 30/07/2021 10:09 am
rosiesarahlyon
(@rosiesarahlyon)
Double-Star Contributor

@monkey you are so right. Especially if you are online dating. Do i really need to see that?! NO I DO NOT haha. Did i ask? yet again, NO! haha

ReplyQuote
Posted : 30/07/2021 10:10 am
Amanda Hale : Breakup & Narcissism Recovery Mentor/Coach
(@ash2021)
New Member

Some red flags:

* He/she makes you feel guilty for sticking to your boundaries.

* He/she love-bombs in the beginning of a relationship. Showering with gifts, acts of service etc and declaring their undying love and devotion. Saying things like "I have never met anyone like you before. I have been waiting all my life to meet someone like you!" or telling someone "I love you" within a short period of time. 

* Actions not meeting their words.

* Catching the person in a lie (and then they try to manipulate or blame it on you!)

* Calling out a behaviour that you don't like, to be met with a very adverse reaction where the blame is projected back onto you.

* Your gut feeling tells you that something is off!! Listen to that feeling!!!

 

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Posted : 03/08/2021 3:13 pm
Founder Alison
(@founder-alison)
Apprentice Hugger

@ash2021 These are great red flags to look out for - thanks for participating in this chat

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Gettingthere
(@gettingthere)
Apprentice Hugger

I always think that if the person doesn't seem to have any close friends, that's a big red flag, or maybe they have friends but don't want you to meet them (I don't mean on the next date but a little further down the road). I have found that some people want to keep you and their friends and family separate and I would worry why that is. If they are divorced, is it because they treated their ex badly or something like that? I just want a person to be open and honest with me and as soon as they start feeling like they have secrets, i'm off. 

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Posted : 05/08/2021 4:04 pm
startagain2021
(@startagain2021)
Apprentice Hugger

@gettingthere I have definitely experience going out with some people who don't want to introduce you to friends and family. I was speaking with a friend yesterday who has been seeing a man for 3 years and still not met friends and family -isn't that just weird! I always think that if someone can't show their full self then they have something to hide and I am out

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Posted : 07/08/2021 10:28 am