Mental wellbeing is a state of mind; it’s how we feel and think.

Throughout our lives there are certain circumstances which can lead us to feel lonely. The triggers are common and run alongside life changes.

If our metal wellbeing is positive, we are able to realise our own potential and have ambitions and aspirations for the future. We’ve all been through times where these things don’t exist, where the future looks grey and bleak and we can’t see a way out. Going through a divorce or bereavement can really mess with our heads as we reach that maximum bandwidth capacity, trying to cope and deal with everything which is being thrown at us. Suddenly we may have to become experts in financial matters, or family law along with dealing with the grief of losing a partner through death or separation.

When we have so much to deal with, it becomes very difficult to cope with the normal stresses and strains of life. Something such as seeing the over-spilling laundry basket can push us to our limit and we have an emotional outburst. Major stress can lead to panic attacks and even depression. We may start to act out of character as anxiety takes hold and find that we can’t even work in a productive way. We may become absent and unavailable for our children. life becomes overwhelming.

Our mental wellbeing is on-track when we

  • Can realise our own potential,
  • can cope with the stresses and strains of life,
  • are able to work in a productive way,
  • are part of a network or community and able to contribute something to that group,
  • see a future for ourselves and have ambition,
  • look after our physical health, are able to sleep well, make healthy food choices and take exercise.
  • We have positive thoughts

So, if we are going through a rough patch, how can we pick ourselves up and improve our mental wellbeing?

Firstly, think about what may be affecting your state of mind. What is causing your anxiety and feelings? You may need to take some time-out to just think or speak to a friend or counsellor. Everyone is different, so something which is affecting you may not even make another person blink. It could be that you are finding someone difficult at work or you have debt problems. Whatever the issue is, until you consciously realise what is causing your anxiety you will not be able to deal with it.  We are all guilty of sweeping problems under the carpet, but doing this does not make the issue go away, it just means that it hangs around for longer. There are solutions to every problem, we just need to find them. The solution might be hard and you may need the support of someone else to guide you though. That’s ok. Everyone needs support at points in their life.

Maybe you are getting divorced as a Litigant in Person as you have no money and are suffering from financial abuse and the solution is that you go to a MacKenzie Friend for some advice or someone recommends a really good book which helped them through.

It could be that you realise that you have been grieving for too long and decide to join a group of people working with a counsellor to help them through.

Take the time to connect with friend and family, even if it’s just sending a text message, you will not feel so alone and when you reveal you are dealing with a problem, you will be surprised at how people will step up to try and assist. Often it is the people who you least expect.

Mental wellbeing and exercise have strong links. Partaking in some form of physical activity will send those good hormones flying around your body and you will start to feel even a little bit better. Force yourself to go for a walk, dig the garden, clean out your kitchen cupboards. You may find that you start to come up with new positive solutions while you are busy. Exercising gives you a chance to think.

It’s important to remember that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. You can ask friends or family. If you work for a large company your employer may have counselling services. Confide in your HR Department. Check if your company health insurance covers any kind of treatment around health issues such as anxiety etc. With Mental Health being so out in the open these days, there are many services available and you will find something to suit you. You can refer yourself for an assessment with the NHS therapies servicewhich offer help both over the telephone and/or online.

If you prefer face to face – you may want to visit The Hug Directory to find a Counsellor, Coach or Therapist in your area. There are many different types of therapy, so choose something which you are interested in. Dealing with issues will give you the confidence to fully enjoy your life again.